What’s the secret to dress success? Put vanity aside and be honest! If you can’t zip that size 10 all the way, don’t order it, promising yourself that you’ll lose the weight. Adding more material to your dress is going to hurt a lot more than taking it in. Here’s something you may not know: today’s size 14 is really yesterday’s eight. While tags have changed over the years, the numbers have actually stayed the same. So stop being obsessed with a number on a tag!

Every bride has heard tales that bridal shops deliberately order larger dresses in order to charge for alterations. And when a bride who is usually a size eight is measured at a 12, she’ll be tempted to believe the myth. But sizes get tricky when considering bust, waist, and hips, in search of the most flattering fit for all three. So make peace with your measurements and order accordingly.

Those who fall into the plus-sized category may feel rather limited when it comes to finding a gown that is complementary to their full figures. “The first time I went dress shopping I cried the whole time. I was so depressed,” says Jen, a tall size 18. “One store had three dresses that fit, and they were all just too much—too many ruffles or poofy sleeves. I looked like a cake topper.” However, while Jen recognized that less is often more, many full-figured brides attempt to conceal their curves through camouflage, drawing more attention than less.

Ann, a recent bridesmaid, chose to add “sheer, flowing sleeves” to her sleeveless gown, thinking she would “feel more comfortable and that it would look better.” But “it wasn’t right for the beach wedding, and it ended up being more obvious than if I’d left it alone,” she recalls. The key to looking and feeling great in your dress is to choose a style suited to your body type, having the gown properly fitted with quality foundations.

Take a good look in the mirror; but don’t just find your flaws, find what’s fabulous! Perhaps you’re pear shaped but have super-sexy shoulders. Work ‘em, sister! There is a perfect dress out there for every bride. Jen found hers in an empire-waist A-line with delicate, off-the-shoulder cap sleeves, and the photographs of her as a beautiful, beaming bride are proof that size “ain’t nothin’ but a number.”